Picking up dog poop is no one’s favorite past time, but as we have talked about, it ensures a healthy environment and is a general public courtesy. Even if you’re a responsible dog owner with a 100% cleanup rate, there are still places we shouldn’t let our pets go poop. Besides, we’ve all experienced those wet, diarrhea dog poops that are impossible to scrape up, and even the most fastidious person misses a glop now and then. Out of respect for our neighbors and land, it’s important to teach our dogs and ourselves where the appropriate places are for pooping.

Your yard
This is the best place for dog poop to occur. The dog recognizes his own territory and feels comfortable (hopefully) in defecating on it, and if you forget to pick up dog poop, there’s little harm done. Avoid the drive- or walkway and heavily trafficked or play areas, as others in your family won’t be as thrilled as you that Spot has eliminated (especially if they find it on their shoes).

If you don’t have a yard, you’ll have to get more creative.

Your patio/deck
While it’s your own home to treat any way you’d like, this is an unsavory spot for urine and feces, especially if it’s ever used for family or public gatherings. Repeated dog poop and urine can rot wooden planks and leave unsightly stains, even with frequent cleaning. Plus, visitors will not be watching for dog poop on these areas and may not realize they have stepped in some. You can place bets on who will be more upset: the guest with the stinky shoes, or the home owner with the poop-printed carpet.

The neighbor’s _____
Stop right there. Under no circumstances should you allow your pet to plunk dog poop on another person’s property, even if you are prompt in picking up such deviations. Few occasions irritate me more than the lazy dog owner wandering aimlessly down the sidewalk while their pet roams willy-nilly into other folks’ yard, leaving droppings as they go. Plus, the more dog poop your neighbors find, the less tolerant of your pet they become. There was a stray lab that wandered through our suburban neighborhood a few years back, and we received several heated notes from folks who thought our dogs were responsible for the happy brown packages on their driveways! People really don’t like other peoples’ dog poop, even temporarily. Stay off the grass.

Public parks or beaches
I always try to make my dog poop before we leave the house for such places, but sometimes the exercise works the brown stuff right out of them. I tend to discourage people from letting their dogs defecate in public areas unless it is unavoidable. First, even if you are a solid citizen and pick up dog poop, there will be some other loser who didn’t, and if yours is the next dog an unhappy person sees, you can guess who will get the bum rap for the poop. Also, we are privileged to bring our pets to such places at all, and a squatting dog tends to reflect badly on our kind.

Wild/overgrown areas
If you lack a proper lawn for dog poop duty, an overgrown area by the side of the road may be a great place to train Spot to release his bowels. Always pick up dog poop left here, and beware of areas with tall grass that may house ticks or snakes. This tends to be the lesser of evils, however, for yardless folks, so scout around your area for some wild brush and have at it. Make sure you keep Spot on his leash at all times.

Repetition will help your pet learn the proper areas for making dog poop. A daily walk to the poop corner of the yard, or down the street to the wild corner will ensure Spot does his dog poop business in an appropriate place. Going to such places can even encourage a recalcitrant dog to complete his task, and it will keep your neighbors pet-happy.

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Dog poop is created twice daily, at least 365 times a year. The summer months may lull us into taking Spot out while barefoot and drinking lemonade, but inevitably a chill will return to the air, and before you know it, we’ll be wrapped up like Eskimos and tromping a path through waist deep snow just so Spot can do his daily duty.

It may sound cruel to mention this now, when you could be laying on the beach and sipping fruity drinks with little umbrellas in them while bronzed cabana boys rub coconut oil onto your skin, but this is a very special time of year, and not just because of the weather. Now is the time to prepare for winter dog poop with summer sales on all manner of dog clothing.

If Spot happens to be a yellow lab and not a pint sized Chihuahua, you may be questioning my sanity when I mention dog clothing. After all, everyone knows only small dogs should wear fashion accessories. Take heart; I have not lost my mind, merely I have been on the receiving end of a -20 windchill. Dog poop waits for no weather.

In my native Minnesota, the winters are fierce and terrible. Until I succumbed and purchased proper winter dog poop gear, my daily outings with the pups were as follows:

Step one: bundle up in snow boots, wool socks, coat, hat, mittens.
Step two: attempt to attach dog leashes
Step three: start to sweat in so much warm clothing, causing hands to become slippery in mittens
Step three: take off mittens and THEN affix leashes
Step four: venture forth into the cold
Step five: return inside for forgotten mittens
Step six: dogs urinate, and start sniffing around in the dog poop mine field
Step seven: dogs’ feet become cold, whiskers freeze
Step eight: sweat inside of mittens freeze, causing me to drop leashes
Step nine: dogs run back in house, releasing toxic gases because they still haven’t pooped
Step ten: recover leashes, wait until dogs’ feet warm up
Step eleven: whole body sweats inside warm gear
Step twelve: return outside; outerwear freezes to my skin
Step thirteen: dogs become distracted by cold and forget to poop
Step fourteen: repeat steps seven through thirteen as needed
Step fifteen: dog poop occurs
Step sixteen: spend 20 minutes peeling off wet layers
Step seventeen: change bed sheets; melted snow stuck in dogs’ feet has soaked my bed.

As you can see, it’s a long an arduous process, mostly because the pups get so darned cold outdoors. The solution? Coats and booties. The winter dog poop nightmare will become a thing of the past, and your pets’ dog poop outings will be warm and toasty.

For a coat, I recommend the Landa Dog Coat, by Weatherbeeta. These are actually the same technology as Weatherbeeta’s popular horse blankets, so they are tough, weatherproof, and warm. They even come in a few other patterns and sizes, large enough for even Big Dogs. Because of the horse-worthy durablility, tears and soggy coats are no problem here.

Dog booties can be trickier, since most canines contrive to rid themselves of any implement on their feet. There are some interesting and ingenious designs out there, such as suspender-like straps that hold the boots up, but I’ve had the best luck with simple paw-length booties that have elastic in the cuff. If you pull them tight enough, they stay on fairly well for routine dog poop breaks. Just don’t leave them on for an extended period of time. You don’t want Spot’s foot to drop off from lack of circulation. I’m kidding! Mostly.

Now that you’re educated on what to buy, it’s time to talk about where and when. As I mentioned, there are some great sales for winter dog gear during the summer. Check your local petshops and online stores. Big chains, like PETSMART and Petco will often have a clearance section where great deals are to be had, and because they need to move product, you can sometimes get a steal. The most reliable source for the Landa Dog Coat is SmartPakCanine, though some other horse retailers may carry them as well. Talk about having your holiday shopping done early!

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Dog poop will always come naturally to canines, but when it’s -10 degrees with a foot of snow falling, it’s useful to have a word or phrase to encourage Spot and remind him of his job. You can use any word for this, no matter the meaning, and Spot will surely begin to associate the word with the task at hand. Still, it might be more helpful to pick something that reminds you of the duty.

Some folks feel embarrassed calling out what might be considered offensive language; I have no qualms about telling my dogs to “go poop.” I used to say “piddle” instead of pee, but I found that saying “piddle” was far stupider than using the layman’s term for urination, so pee it is.

Others prefer a more refined vocabulary. “Make” is common dog poop inducing phrase, but when playing with the word in my mind, I tried to ascertain precisely what it is one wishes the dog to make, and was rightly confused. The dog poop is already there – surely we’re trying to have our pets release the droppings, not create more. “Drop” would certainly be apt, but it may conflict with the command to let go of a ball or toy.

One term I envisioned was “defecate,” but unless one is a duchess standing on the courtyard green with twin Pekingese in tow, it rather sounds like one is putting on airs. Dog poop isn’t quite that sophisticated.

On the other end of the spectrum, “go potty” sounds juvenile. I may call Sirius my “sweetest little snugglesoft,” but he is fully housebroken and private in his toilet habits, so I don’t wish to demean his dog poop manners with an infantile term. The line must be drawn somewhere.

With these considerations in mind, I have devised a list of possible phrases to induce dog poop. None are perfect, but for those who don’t want to stand on the porch shouting about poop, these might suffice.

I think I’ll just stick with “go poop.” Let’s face it: after creating the Dog Poop Calendar, it doesn’t phase me. So what about you? What is your phrase or word of choice? Leave a comment and share it with the rest of us.

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Dog poop is strange, but pooping dogs are even stranger. As we talked about in Dog Poop Personalities, you can ascertain a certain amount about a canine’s character just by watching him poop. Some dogs also exhibit odd behaviors or qualities while they poop, and that is today’s discussion.

When Niko was a young dog, he had the most peculiar pooping pattern. First he would stake out his spot, sniffing endlessly around the yard for the perfect place to defecate. He could tell when he was close because his back end would begin progressively squatting as he neared the area so that the dog poop plopped out at precisely the right location.

Once dog poop was imminent, Niko would start to spin. It’s possible he was using his legs for leverage in such a way that turned him all about, but more likely, he was just scattering his feces over a wider area. So off he spun, turning about in little circles while the clumps merrily exited his tail pipe. He took no care to avoid stepping in the extrusions; he was quite pleased if in fact at least one foot acquired a dog poop coating to track into the house.

Sirius, however, is very fastidious. As previously mentioned, he selects dog poop zones that are already established to keep his waste area to a minimum, and usually looks for privacy behind some natural barrier. Sometimes he squints, focusing his efforts entirely on squeezing out the dog poop. Nearly always during the actual act, he attempts to lift both hind feet off the ground, balancing precariously on his front paws for the best possible leverage. Often he wobbles back and forth between hind feet, before springing forth after completing the maneuver and racing back to me.

Both dogs would occasionally scratch ground with their back feet to cover the dog poop or mark their territory, though Sirius never did this until he saw Niko giving it a try. Now, with his obsession of privacy and desire to cover up his dog poop, he is careful to kick up grass and dirt at every opportunity, always with a silly grin.

What do your dogs do while pooping? Are there any barkers or exhibitionists out there? Comment and share your dog’s odd behavior with the world!

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Butt rubbing by canines has long puzzled and disgusted the human race. Where did this behavior come from? Why are brown streaks left on my new white carpet? For some dogs, this is a chronic problem; others suffer only rarely. There are three main causes: debris, overfull anal glands, and worms.

Dogs who have never rubbed yet suddenly exhibit this habit may simply have something stuck in or near that orifice. Lift the tail and inspect the cavity for protrusions like leaves or grass – materials that aren’t easy for a dog to digest and expel. If your dog is leaving brown streaks, he may have a bit of residual fecal matter stuck in his tail pipe.

A simple swab with a tissue may remove the offending article and stop the rubbing. Don’t, however, delve below the surface. Your dog won’t appreciate it and you may do serious harm. If nothing is visibly evident, it’s time to give the vet a ring.

Let’s talk about anal glands. These pesky little puffs sit down and slightly to the left and right of the anus. When your dog excretes a poop, the anal glands are squeezed, causing a terribly stinky fluid to coat the droppings as they exit. This is how your dog “marks” his pile as his own. Isn’t that sweet?

Yet anal glands are not all fun and games; occasionally, under stress, the dog may release his glandular fluids all at once. This happened to a friend of mine once (in the car no less, and Febreeze is no match for that stuff), and groomers experience it all the time (let’s face it – the grooming salon is pretty scary for a pup). Such epic smells are recollected for years to come.

Fortunately, releasing the glands doesn’t cause butt rubbing; it’s usually the opposite problem. Clogged anal glands are the primary cause of dogs who rub on the floor. Some poor mutts have this as a chronic problem, while others may experience it only once or never in their lives.

Unclogging the glands is a task best left to your vet, who has the lucky job of reaching inside and squeezing them clean. Don’t try this at home; you can damage the glands and your dog will be most unhappy. You may, however, have to get the fluid expelled every few weeks in the most extreme cases. Your vet will best know how to proceed for these constant butt rubbers.

A final cause of rubbing in dogs is intestinal worms. There are many different types of worms, from round- to hook-, and it’s vital that your dog is on a deworming program as recommended by your veterinarian. Some worms will show up in the fecal matter. Look for tiny white grains, especially at night. Others are more sneaky; tapeworms seldom have such obvious symptoms.

You must take your dog to the vet immediately if you suspect worms, especially if the butt rubbing is accompanied by other symptoms like a dull coat, weight loss, or lethargy. Worms are painful and can be deadly, so don’t take any chances. Also be extremely careful handling fecal matter with a worm infestation. You, your family, or other pets can easily acquire them. Pick up all dog poop and dispose of it properly, and wash your hands with a good disinfectant afterward.

When these matters have been evaluated by your veterinarian, the butt rubbing should stop. Now if only the streaks came out of the carpet as easily…

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Dog poop, and the manner in which it is eliminated, can be a personality indicator for canines. My long time pal Niko, who recently passed away, was brazen in his old age and would make his dog poop anywhere and any time he pleased. This was wonderful during blizzards or hot weather, but less helpful during the housebreaking process or when he felt we had been away from home for quite long enough. Several times, while out on a walk, he even loosed his bowels in the middle of the street. We would glance back to find him squat-walking along in order to keep up.

An old curmudgeon at heart, he didn’t care if it pleased you to watch him poop or not, as modesty was not on his agenda. His dog poop was proudly displayed all over the yard, like stinky little pinecones, and one could never be too careful when crossing what I refer to as “the dog poop mine field.”

Sirius, on the other hand, is a gentle soul with impeccable dog poop manners. He has identified two or three areas of the yard (usually at the edge of the woods, bless his heart) and he keeps his poop walks to those designated areas. When ever possible, he prefers to keep his modesty and finds some brush or shrub to hide behind while he does his duty. He will also time his dog poops for when I’m not looking directly at him, and sometimes turning away will encourage him to complete his business.

Sirius rarely has had accidents in the house, but his covert tendencies even carried over to Niko’s accidents. He would use a shirt, towel, blanket, or anything handy to cover up and bury the offending dog poop, and I would merely believe one of the dogs had bad gas until I picked up the room and discovered the secret pile.

It’s hard to say which personality is more desirable, for though I loathe removing dog poop stain from clothing and linens, the dog poop mine field could not be underestimated. What do your dogs’ poops say about their personalities?

dog poop

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Dog poop and I go way back. We have a rich and smelly history together, and even when my canine companions have passed away, the memories never fade, and neither do the stains on the carpet. Dog poop, like time itself, remains a steadfast companion in an ever changing world.

I’ve had a number of dogs and consequently thousands of dog poop experiences. While most are non-incidents (except, perhaps, to the dogs), a few stand out above the others – not for mere size, shape or color, but for the manner in which they were presented to me.

Let us travel back in time to the year 2001. My current dog, Sirius, was just a puppy, barely housebroken and full of mysterious habits that only he could fathom. One such odd characteristic was the eating of underwear. Specifically, my underwear. My dirty underwear. No matter how I hid them, covered them, protected them, or chastised him, I was losing almost one pair per week to his puppy breathing jaws.

Now, eating underwear or clothing of any sort is not good for dogs; it can cause serious health problems during digestion (or lack thereof). I was blessed in that Sirius never suffered any ill effects from his habit, and in fact occasionally would regurgitate my panties back to me (whole and gooey, usually next to my bed so I would be sure to step on them first thing in the morning). He was even kind enough to poop out the remnants in the snow, so that the spring thaw revealed a lawn covered in undies, like little May flowers that had sprouted during the cold. (Here is another good reason to pick up dog poop on your own lawn – you never know what might be lurking in those steaming brown mounds.)

Most of the undie-dog poops were non-descript “granny panties,” but it can’t be said that I lacked a spontaneous side; among the white cottons in my drawer were a number of cute or fanciful pairs, including a hot pink thong that I found on sale for fifty cents at TJ Max. It took me a long time to screw up the courage to wear this pair (actually it was an act of necessity caused by a rapidly depleting supply of underwear and no time for laundry), and when the day was over, I dutifully squished them to the bottom of the hamper under all my other clothes to protect them from the dog beast, and hid the hamper inside the bathroom for safety.

It was some weeks later that the horrifying incident actually occurred. Since I didn’t have many other hot pink items to wash, the thong had stayed in the hamper for a while, hiding from the dog’s grasp. In fact I had forgotten all about it, until one fateful day when I took Sirius out for the Dog Poop Walk (you all know that particular duty well).

We strolled about the yard and in his usual manner, Sirius sniffed around in circles for the perfect dog poop spot. He squatted and let my mind drift, but something seemed awry. After a few moments of his straining without success, I walked over to inspect the orifice. Kneeling down, I discovered that part of the dog poop had already been evacuated. About an inch and a half was sticking out, wiggling at me as Sirius shifted his feet for better leverage. Thinking he had everything under control, I waiting a few more minutes before finally stepping in to intervene. By now, Sirius has his nose to his tail and was spinning around, trying to shake the dog poop loose. I grabbed a nearby leaf in one hand and held his tail aside with the other, and pulled on the dangling mass.

The poop didn’t just come out. It streeeeeeeeeeeetched nearly eight inches long, and took two full tugs before that hot pink thong whiplashed out of Sirius’ bum and onto the muddy ground.

I wish I could say that his underwear eating was over. It wasn’t, though the habit was quelled after about a year. I also wish I could say that I didn’t leave that hot pink thong just sitting there where the neighbors could see it, but that would also be a lie since I forgot to bring a bag with me and then forgot about the offending item for weeks. I can, however, say that it was one of the weirdest dog poop experiences I have ever had. And no, I didn’t bother to replace the thong in my wardrobe.

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