Picking up dog poop is no one’s favorite past time, but as we have talked about, it ensures a healthy environment and is a general public courtesy. Even if you’re a responsible dog owner with a 100% cleanup rate, there are still places we shouldn’t let our pets go poop. Besides, we’ve all experienced those wet, diarrhea dog poops that are impossible to scrape up, and even the most fastidious person misses a glop now and then. Out of respect for our neighbors and land, it’s important to teach our dogs and ourselves where the appropriate places are for pooping.

Your yard
This is the best place for dog poop to occur. The dog recognizes his own territory and feels comfortable (hopefully) in defecating on it, and if you forget to pick up dog poop, there’s little harm done. Avoid the drive- or walkway and heavily trafficked or play areas, as others in your family won’t be as thrilled as you that Spot has eliminated (especially if they find it on their shoes).

If you don’t have a yard, you’ll have to get more creative.

Your patio/deck
While it’s your own home to treat any way you’d like, this is an unsavory spot for urine and feces, especially if it’s ever used for family or public gatherings. Repeated dog poop and urine can rot wooden planks and leave unsightly stains, even with frequent cleaning. Plus, visitors will not be watching for dog poop on these areas and may not realize they have stepped in some. You can place bets on who will be more upset: the guest with the stinky shoes, or the home owner with the poop-printed carpet.

The neighbor’s _____
Stop right there. Under no circumstances should you allow your pet to plunk dog poop on another person’s property, even if you are prompt in picking up such deviations. Few occasions irritate me more than the lazy dog owner wandering aimlessly down the sidewalk while their pet roams willy-nilly into other folks’ yard, leaving droppings as they go. Plus, the more dog poop your neighbors find, the less tolerant of your pet they become. There was a stray lab that wandered through our suburban neighborhood a few years back, and we received several heated notes from folks who thought our dogs were responsible for the happy brown packages on their driveways! People really don’t like other peoples’ dog poop, even temporarily. Stay off the grass.

Public parks or beaches
I always try to make my dog poop before we leave the house for such places, but sometimes the exercise works the brown stuff right out of them. I tend to discourage people from letting their dogs defecate in public areas unless it is unavoidable. First, even if you are a solid citizen and pick up dog poop, there will be some other loser who didn’t, and if yours is the next dog an unhappy person sees, you can guess who will get the bum rap for the poop. Also, we are privileged to bring our pets to such places at all, and a squatting dog tends to reflect badly on our kind.

Wild/overgrown areas
If you lack a proper lawn for dog poop duty, an overgrown area by the side of the road may be a great place to train Spot to release his bowels. Always pick up dog poop left here, and beware of areas with tall grass that may house ticks or snakes. This tends to be the lesser of evils, however, for yardless folks, so scout around your area for some wild brush and have at it. Make sure you keep Spot on his leash at all times.

Repetition will help your pet learn the proper areas for making dog poop. A daily walk to the poop corner of the yard, or down the street to the wild corner will ensure Spot does his dog poop business in an appropriate place. Going to such places can even encourage a recalcitrant dog to complete his task, and it will keep your neighbors pet-happy.

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Dog poop is created twice daily, at least 365 times a year. The summer months may lull us into taking Spot out while barefoot and drinking lemonade, but inevitably a chill will return to the air, and before you know it, we’ll be wrapped up like Eskimos and tromping a path through waist deep snow just so Spot can do his daily duty.

It may sound cruel to mention this now, when you could be laying on the beach and sipping fruity drinks with little umbrellas in them while bronzed cabana boys rub coconut oil onto your skin, but this is a very special time of year, and not just because of the weather. Now is the time to prepare for winter dog poop with summer sales on all manner of dog clothing.

If Spot happens to be a yellow lab and not a pint sized Chihuahua, you may be questioning my sanity when I mention dog clothing. After all, everyone knows only small dogs should wear fashion accessories. Take heart; I have not lost my mind, merely I have been on the receiving end of a -20 windchill. Dog poop waits for no weather.

In my native Minnesota, the winters are fierce and terrible. Until I succumbed and purchased proper winter dog poop gear, my daily outings with the pups were as follows:

Step one: bundle up in snow boots, wool socks, coat, hat, mittens.
Step two: attempt to attach dog leashes
Step three: start to sweat in so much warm clothing, causing hands to become slippery in mittens
Step three: take off mittens and THEN affix leashes
Step four: venture forth into the cold
Step five: return inside for forgotten mittens
Step six: dogs urinate, and start sniffing around in the dog poop mine field
Step seven: dogs’ feet become cold, whiskers freeze
Step eight: sweat inside of mittens freeze, causing me to drop leashes
Step nine: dogs run back in house, releasing toxic gases because they still haven’t pooped
Step ten: recover leashes, wait until dogs’ feet warm up
Step eleven: whole body sweats inside warm gear
Step twelve: return outside; outerwear freezes to my skin
Step thirteen: dogs become distracted by cold and forget to poop
Step fourteen: repeat steps seven through thirteen as needed
Step fifteen: dog poop occurs
Step sixteen: spend 20 minutes peeling off wet layers
Step seventeen: change bed sheets; melted snow stuck in dogs’ feet has soaked my bed.

As you can see, it’s a long an arduous process, mostly because the pups get so darned cold outdoors. The solution? Coats and booties. The winter dog poop nightmare will become a thing of the past, and your pets’ dog poop outings will be warm and toasty.

For a coat, I recommend the Landa Dog Coat, by Weatherbeeta. These are actually the same technology as Weatherbeeta’s popular horse blankets, so they are tough, weatherproof, and warm. They even come in a few other patterns and sizes, large enough for even Big Dogs. Because of the horse-worthy durablility, tears and soggy coats are no problem here.

Dog booties can be trickier, since most canines contrive to rid themselves of any implement on their feet. There are some interesting and ingenious designs out there, such as suspender-like straps that hold the boots up, but I’ve had the best luck with simple paw-length booties that have elastic in the cuff. If you pull them tight enough, they stay on fairly well for routine dog poop breaks. Just don’t leave them on for an extended period of time. You don’t want Spot’s foot to drop off from lack of circulation. I’m kidding! Mostly.

Now that you’re educated on what to buy, it’s time to talk about where and when. As I mentioned, there are some great sales for winter dog gear during the summer. Check your local petshops and online stores. Big chains, like PETSMART and Petco will often have a clearance section where great deals are to be had, and because they need to move product, you can sometimes get a steal. The most reliable source for the Landa Dog Coat is SmartPakCanine, though some other horse retailers may carry them as well. Talk about having your holiday shopping done early!

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